As summer starts to blossom we recognize that many people feel the societal pressure to fit into a particular kind of body or look. This pressure can feel unyielding at times and may cause us to feel depressed, doubt our self-worth and add to our discomfort in life. We want to encourage anyone who feels the pressure to have a “summer body” to reach out to us. Using a HAES® we support our clients through learning to love themselves and work toward healthy changes that come from a place of growth rather than a place of pressure or a need to fit in. For more information on Health At Every Size® or how to combat the pressure to change please reach out to us.
We recognize that many times we need more resources than just our friends, family or our therapist. So often we forget that many others are going through similar experiences or that other people that have never met us still care for us and our well being. Below are some resources we have found helpful and we hope you do too!
American Foundation of Suicide Prevention- https://afsp.org/
The Trevor Project- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/#sm.0001yevyi44hheu6r8w1ay2pyhq12
True Colors- https://www.ourtruecolors.org/
The National Domestic Violence Hotline- https://www.thehotline.org/
Safe Haven- http://www.safehavengw.org/
Susan B Anthony Project- https://sbaproject.org/
( p a t t e r n s )
We all have them.
We all repeat and repeat and repeat whatever our own pattern of poison is--- until we can’t take it anymore.
Then we start to break down. Break up. Break through. Patiently.
Hurting, ourselves and others. But patient (stubborn, almost); and realistic and optimistic all at the same time.
We start changing--- breaking the patterns that have hurt us.
Little by little, we choose differently.
We say no, and mean it. We block a number, and keep it blocked.
We set a boundary (one by one; little by little; paso a paso).
It’s really not easy, but the more we do it, the more we realize what we are capable of.
The more the other person begins to back off (if it’s another person that’s your pattern).
The more worth we recognize in ourselves, as we go through this process. The less we tolerate, and so on and so forth.
This is how we break the pattern.
At first: confused, scared, and pretty hopeless.
And then, slowly: a little braver, a little cockier, thinking you got this.
Next (probably): a bump back to reality. Something to knock you off your feet and question yourself. (am i doing the right thing? is it worth it?).
And then, back and forth, at different times in our growth, we move through these different phases in a non-linear fashion.
Around a multitude of patterns + behaviors.
And we do it in our own time, in our own way. The goal is never to shed all these layers and become or achieve a certain “something” or some type of perfection.
It’s just to do what feels right + what makes our hearts + our souls content.
I’ve been thinking about unconditional love a lot lately. What it means to me, what it means to my son, my parents, the parents I work with, my friends, my partner, the kids I see daily, the teens who come in feeling so alone and misunderstood, the trauma survivors that have had their sense of self-worth completely shattered.
If you're anything like me, you most certainly don't WANT to feel miserable for 3-4 months out of the year. Like I said, I'm not the Grinch. I love being with my loved ones, I love buying or making thoughtful gifts, and I love the snow. I want to embrace more of the magical and let go of the darkness.
I get so inspired by so many different things all the time, that it can be hard to narrow it down and pick one topic to write about. This morning, I was going through old pictures on my phone, trying to delete duplicates and free up some storage, and I came across this beauty:
I didn’t write this, and in fact, I don’t know who did to give them credit. But whoever came up with it, I love you. I found this right at the start of my time off this summer, something that felt so foreign and so uncomfortable to me at first. I was taking a whole summer off to heal. To grieve. To cry. To just BE. To give my soul a chance to breathe. To give my body a chance to rest. To give my brain a chance to turn off. And it was uncomfortable. I was worried about what other people thought of me. I was worried that really I was just slipping into a deep, dark depression that I wouldn’t be able to get out of. I was worried that I would start self-destructing and making terrible choices. But I didn’t. I grieved. I cried. I breathed. I rested.
The result? That light that was so close to burning out is slowly beginning to burn bright again. That body, brain, and soul that was so close to being crushed is slowly beginning to resurface. And that is a beautiful thing.
My hope for you is that you don’t wait. Don’t wait until something so soul-crushing happens in your life that you are forced to make a change. Make a change now. Let go of a few responsibilities or expectations. Re-evaluate what you really want out of this life. And go after it.
Peace and good vibes,