( p a t t e r n s )

( p a t t e r n s )

We all have them.  

We all repeat and repeat and repeat whatever our own pattern of poison is--- until we can’t take it anymore.  

Then we start to break down.  Break up. Break through. Patiently.  

Hurting, ourselves and others.  But patient (stubborn, almost); and realistic and optimistic all at the same time.

We start changing--- breaking the patterns that have hurt us.

Little by little, we choose differently.  

We say no, and mean it.  We block a number, and keep it blocked.  

We set a boundary (one by one; little by little; paso a paso).  

It’s really not easy, but the more we do it, the more we realize what we are capable of.  

The more the other person begins to back off (if it’s another person that’s your pattern).

The more worth we recognize in ourselves, as we go through this process.  The less we tolerate, and so on and so forth.

This is how we break the pattern.  

At first: confused, scared, and pretty hopeless.  

And then, slowly: a little braver, a little cockier, thinking you got this.  

Next (probably): a bump back to reality.  Something to knock you off your feet and question yourself. (am i doing the right thing?  is it worth it?).

And then, back and forth, at different times in our growth, we move through these different phases in a non-linear fashion.  

Around a multitude of patterns + behaviors.

And we do it in our own time, in our own way.  The goal is never to shed all these layers and become or achieve a certain “something” or some type of perfection.

It’s just to do what feels right + what makes our hearts + our souls content.

Exploring Unconditional Love

Exploring Unconditional Love

I’ve been thinking about unconditional love a lot lately.  What it means to me, what it means to my son, my parents, the parents I work with, my friends, my partner, the kids I see daily, the teens who come in feeling so alone and misunderstood, the trauma survivors that have had their sense of self-worth completely shattered.  

#7- The Winter Blues Edition

#7- The Winter Blues Edition

 If you're anything like me, you most certainly don't WANT to feel miserable for 3-4 months out of the year.  Like I said, I'm not the Grinch.  I love being with my loved ones, I love buying or making thoughtful gifts, and I love the snow.  I want to embrace more of the magical and let go of the darkness.